What is the FULLEST potential of Authentic Relating when applied by a skillful facilitator?
Many of us known on a personal level that the social technologies of AR have a deep and reverberating impact in our personal lives, and perhaps further our into our communities. But the vantage point of a career facilitator tells a different story.
In this episode of ARTV, we're interviewing Zach Robinson. A long-time facilitator for Authentic Revolution, he has brought the social technologies of AR into families, corporate settings, and soon, abroad. Have a listen to learn more about Zach's deep and nuanced understanding of the power of facilitation!
- How can AR be applied out in the world?
- How is applied AR different from therapy?
- Jason and Zach demonstrate an application of AR when they reset the context, give voice to what's alive, and reveal their desires in real time.
Join Zach in this next cohort of The Authentic Facilitator Training! Under his...
For the second episode of ARTV, we tapped the wonders of the internet to speak with Eloah Paes Ramalho all the way in Cape Town, South Africa.
A dancer, creator, and Authentic Relating facilitator, Eloah has been exploring the ways in which music, movement, and AR practices can weave together to bring us into a practice of what she calls Co-Loving -- a community-supported practice of loving ourselves.
Eloah Paes Ramalho: https://eloah.me/
Interviewed by Jason Digges. https://www.jasondigges.com/
by Sara Ness
The world has, by all accounts, gotten more polarized in the last few years. Polls by More in Common and the Pew Research center show that since the 90s, people have gotten steadily more identified with strict party lines and sweeping, identity group-based beliefs. This means that even within families or friends, we run into fights about what is RIGHT, what is WRONG, and - worse - WHO is right and wrong. Every conversation about gender or vaccination or Trump turns into a fight.
Why does this happen? I’ve been reading Peter T. Coleman’s marvelous book I, in preparation for a course I’ll be teaching for Rebel Wisdom on having hard conversations (look out for the link next week!). Coleman talks about the idea of ATTRACTOR PATTERNS, self-reinforcing systems that only get more entrenched over time. Think of the fights you and your partner or you and your family get into, that always feel like they end the same way. We tend to think of these problems like...
Very few things emerge completely out of nothing.
There's a process of mapping the territory, experimenting, documenting and cataloging, and always always continuing to learn.
The practice of Authentic Relating was born from a cocktail of personal experience, studies, social experimentation, and of course: some amazing books.
So if you want to dig in to the more theoretical and intellectual side of Authentic Relating, here are a few books we think are just plain foundational!
According to Authentic Relating teacher Jason Digges, "This was the original book that we all used as source material before AR had anything written down. Susan Campbell is a gem of a teacher." If you're familiar with Authentic Relating in any capacity, a lot of Campbell's core concepts might feel familiar. The ten truth skills include Letting Yourself Be Seen, Taking Back Projections, Saying No, Welcoming...
You’ve gotten the Authentic Revolution emails, but always held back on trying out the live events. You don’t have enough time. It’s intimidating. Today, though, you decided to do the free trial, and attend two weeks’ worth of events. You want more community, and you want someone else to hold the space for once - so, why not?
The email comes with your login, and you get on the platform. First, you hit a screen with some steps and cultural intentions. The intentions seem useful: Show up prepared, honor ourselves, own our experience, hear others out. Try not to give advice, fix, coach, or therapize. It feels exciting to find a space where you could be yourself, and not be judged for it.
You click into the “Start Here” and read about COnnect’s practices. What’s up with the capital O, anyways? Turns out the FAQ tab answers that. You check out a few Resources, and then browse through the Calendar to see what your options...
We're happy to be producing a new interview series with leaders and legends in authentic relating. The first episode is with Kendra Cunov.
Kendra Cunov has been studying, facilitating, and (most importantly) practicing Authentic Relating, Embodiment Practices & Deep Intimacy Work for over fifteen years. She's the founder of The Collective: A Global Web of Women Devoted to Embodied Wholeness," and teaches a course on Relationship by Design.
How to honor the co-creation of a relationship instead of playing a game for control
Who we are changes. Honor this to keep a relationship fresh.
The four pillars of Relationship By Design: Authenticity, desire, curiosity, and generosity
How do you know you need to make a shift in your relational life?
Maybe it's a sense of vague dissatisfaction. You're not necessarily screaming to escape, but you're certain that there's something that could be better.
Or, you're 100% certain that things just aren't functional. Maybe even borderline dysfunctional.
Today we're sharing the process that we at AuthRev designed to transform existential malaise into powerful relationships. This process has revolutionized how hundreds of people deal with that heavy sense of inertia that can keep us feeling "stuck" -- because "stuck" is really just another word for "in need of a helpful framework".
We've got your back.
When you're ready, get out a pen and paper.
Step 1: Identify Your Drainers
First, let’s list the the things that drain your energy, your joy, your zest for life. Set a timer and for the next 3 minutes, think about your life. Walk through a normal day, or a normal week, and...
“My dad has a sort of wall around going deep. i will open up to him about how i am feeling, and he will kind of judge me for my struggles. He sees emotions and pain as weakness. I don’t really know how to talk to him, we just small talk and it is draining for me... maybe I simply don’t have his consent to go deep with him! He doesn’t really open to anyone or know how to, or that it is safe and important to... he is sort of old/traditional in a way of seeing what strength means.” - Abby
What does strength mean?
While women are taught to pay attention to and respond to others’ emotions - what I would call the “External” focus of any Relating Language - men, especially those of older generations, were taught to ignore these emotions. Seeing them in other men was taboo; seeing them in oneself, just as much so. Better to repress than to express was the battle cry of masculinity, causing anger - a less repressible emotion, and a less...
I planned to write, this week, about the Authentic Leadership and Facilitation Training. Of anything I've created that is the most involved and Sara-esq program, a synthesis of 3 years of facilitation experience. My underlying hope was that some of you might even want to attend. We were meant to do two trainings this month - one in Austin Nov. 21-23, one in Baton Rouge Nov. 14-16. Then, two nights ago, the woman who was organizing the Baton Rouge training called to tell me her son (a core and much-loved member of the Austin authentic and Ecstatic Dance communities) had been killed in Houston, on his way to Louisiana's first Games Night.
Writing this, I feel a cold, spacious depth in my chest. A heaviness in my eyes. Tired, resigned, and sad.
I went to Burning Man, a few months ago, with the intent of experiencing and accepting the cycle of life and death. I wanted to be surrounded by an explosion of exquisite creativity. I wanted to know that all that beauty was going to end. When...
I still think about my second boyfriend.
I had just moved to Texas. I met him at a country dancing bar one of my first nights out in town. I was 17; I snuck in on a fake ID, fingers crossed for the chance to experience “adulting”.
He was a cowboy from the hill country. I had never fallen so hard for anybody. I would bike multiple times a week across town, 45 minutes up a huge hill to land sweaty and delighted at his Christian university and spend a couple hours talking, playing ping-pong, and listening to him play guitar.
He called me one day as I was preparing to go to class. “It’s over,” he said. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I was in shock. “No,” I said, and hung up the phone. Then I knelt down, my head in my hands, there on the sidewalk. It took me many months to feel okay again.
The cowboy still comes to my mind sometimes. Not because I miss him or want to be back together — I don’t feel like we ever really...