Caring for your nervous system when everything is falling apart

by Sara Ness

The world has, by all accounts, gotten more polarized in the last few years. Polls by More in Common and the Pew Research center show that since the 90s, people have gotten steadily more identified with strict party lines and sweeping, identity group-based beliefs. This means that even within families or friends, we run into fights about what is RIGHT, what is WRONG, and - worse - WHO is right and wrong. Every conversation about gender or vaccination or Trump turns into a fight.

Why does this happen? I’ve been reading Peter T. Coleman’s marvelous book I, in preparation for a course I’ll be teaching for Rebel Wisdom on having hard conversations (look out for the link next week!). Coleman talks about the idea of ATTRACTOR PATTERNS, self-reinforcing systems that only get more entrenched over time. Think of the fights you and your partner or you and your family get into, that always feel like they end the same way. We tend to think of these problems like...

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Context, Content, & Concern: A Conflict Resolution Framework with Sara Ness

conflict connection Sep 16, 2021

Unless you just don't talk to anyone, ever (or you only talk about the weather), conflict is an inevitable part of life. We've all developed ways and tools to deal, avoid, navigate, or perhaps instigate over the course of our lives -- some helpful, some not so much. 

But what about when the conflict threatens our connection?

Authentic Relating can be applied to just about every context in our lives, and conflict might be one of the more potent places to bring the practice. AuthRev's Chief Catalyst Sara Ness has been sharing this new framework in her Sensemaking 101 work with RebelWisdom, and it's a really potent way to approach conversations that might be ripe for conflict. Have a look.


You'll learn...

  • How creating shared context can help prevent conflict in the first place
  • Why "Steel Manning" someone's perspective is the new (and way more helpful) "Straw Manning" 
  • Why bombarding someone with content and facts might be completely missing the point
  • How to better...
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