A map for any tough talk I used to come to difficult conversations with page-long lists of what to say. I knew that, as soon as the conversation started, I would freeze up and lose my perspective. So, I had all my points prepared in advance. I held my papers (back when we still used those things)...

3+ tools for de-escalating reactivity You’ve found your courage and initiated a tough talk. You started soft, presenting the problem without reactivity. You were prepared. You did everything right. And still, things have gone wrong. They’re angry. Resentful. Reactive. Even though you spoke from y...

How to stop a fight before it begins If you read the last article, you’ve now successfully started a scary conversation in a simple, less confrontational way. (If you missed that email, you can find it here on our blog.) It would be great if the conflict ended there. Unfortunately, you still have...

The Recovering Conflict Avoiders’ Club You really don’t want to have this conversation. You know you should. It’s been hanging over your head for weeks now: what you said, what they said, what both of you didn’t say. But how do you get yourself to start talking about it? When I (Sara) was young, ...

Conflict isn't the problem. You and your partner need to have a hard conversation. It’s been coming for a while. You’ve started resenting them. Their actions, even nice ones, seem ill-intentioned. You avoid time alone. You say nothing’s changed - but you know that something is wrong. What can yo...