What are Authentic Relating Games?

Communication can be fun and easeful!

AR Games were created to give you a playbook for how to begin relating on an authentic level.

Often communication starts and stops because we feel unsure about how to approach it, what to say, or what to ask. Turning communication into a game provides a guiding structure and set of agreements for everyone involved. This removes a lot of the stress and anxiety from connection, and adds in an inviting element of play.

AR Games (played with 2 or more people) are designed to take you from:

Surface level answers to → Sharing what’s really going on

Feeling disconnected to → Feeling a real bond

Not knowing what to say to→ A connected in-flow conversation

Lack of understanding to→ Gaining helpful insights about each other.

Playing these games help build skills for any relationship: Romantic partnerships, families, roommates, friends, community groups, teams, and clientele.

Below are a few of our most basic Authentic Relating games. We invite you to find a group near you (or online) or simply dive in and try them out with someone in your life!

The Noticing Game

Directions: Two people stand or sit directly across from each other, making eye contact. One person is A and the other is B. A goes first.

A begins: “Sitting/standing here with you, I notice…”
B responds, “Hearing that, I notice…”

Go back and forth: “Hearing that, I notice… Hearing that, I notice…” for 2-5 minutes.

Note: YOU CAN SHARE OBSERVATIONS, THOUGHTS, SENSATIONS, FEELINGS… You can share ANYTHING you’re noticing inside this structure of “A” and “B” going back and forth.

The Curiosity Game

Directions: Two people stand or sit facing each other. Designate an A and a B. A has 5 minutes to ask B whatever they want, provided that they feel really, genuinely curious to know the answer to their question. B can answer or decline to respond to any question.

At the end of the time, B get a chance to give a minute of feedback to A on how they felt about the questions, including if there was anything they wished had been asked or anything that really struck them. Then, A resumes questioning for 3 more minutes.

At the end of the time, A gives a gift to B of three sentence stems: “My first impression of you was. . .”, “I felt you the most when . . .”, and “What I really get about you is . . .”.

Partners then switch roles and play again.

Truths

Directions: Two people stand or sit directly across from each other, making eye contact. One person is A and the other is B. A goes first.

A begins: "_______(person B's name), I have a truth for you. Are you available to hear it?"

B responds: “I’m open to it” or "I'm not open to it."

If B is open, A shares: “_____(person B’s name), when you ________ (name a particular, unarguable moment or experience), I felt _______(share an emotion).”
B responds, “Thank you.”

Go back and forth sharing truths for as much time as you have available.

Note: You can share truths and/or appreciations following this same format.

Watermelon

Directions: Two people stand or sit facing each other. Designate an A and a B. During the game, A will only say the word, "Watermelon."

B will respond with, "You seem_____."

A will respond only with the word, "Watermelon." Watermelon should be an authentic response to the impact they feel after hearing A share how they seem.