What is Authentic Relating?


Authentic Relating (AR) is the practice of freely expressing your true experience in the company of others.


Expressing in this way enables you to create connections in the world based on who you really are. 


Authentic Relating practices create a safe, intentional space - rooted in play and supported by clear boundaries - to create meaningful and enjoyable connections to self and other. By learning Authentic Relating skills, you can drop your conditioned relational habits, and learn to relate with yourself and others from a deeper more authentic expression of your truth.


This allows us to be more human with one another, in ways that often fall by the wayside in today's social norms.   


The result is a life full of fulfilling and meaningful relationships.


Authentic Relating Games

Notice.  Reveal.  Share Impact. 

Below are a few of our most basic Authentic Relating games. We invite you to find a group near you (or online) or simply dive in and try them out with someone in your life!

The Noticing Game
Directions: Two people stand or sit directly across from each other, making eye contact. One person is A and the other is B. A goes first.  

A begins: “Sitting/standing here with you, I notice…”
B responds, “Hearing that, I notice…”

Go back and forth: “Hearing that, I notice… Hearing that, I notice…” for 2­-5 minutes.

Note: YOU CAN SHARE OBSERVATIONS, THOUGHTS, SENSATIONS, FEELINGS… You can share ANYTHING you’re noticing inside this structure of “A” and “B” going back and forth.

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The Curiosity Game
Directions: Two people stand or sit facing each other. Designate an A and a B.  A has 5 minutes to ask B whatever they want, provided that they feel really, genuinely curious to know the answer to their question. B can answer or decline to respond to any question.

At the end of the time, B get a chance to give a minute of feedback to A on how they felt about the questions, including if there was anything they wished had been asked or anything that really struck them. Then, A resumes questioning for 3 more minutes.

At the end of the time, A gives a gift to B of three sentence stems: “My first impression of you was. . .”, “I felt you the most when . . .”, and “What I really get about you is . . .”.
Partners then switch roles and play again.
The Desire Game
Directions: Divide into pairs. Each member of the pair has a 7 minutes to ask for exactly what they want from their partner in the moment. Their partner has the option to either give it or say no. The asking partner keeps making requests until their time is up, and keeps asking for specifics until they get exactly what they want (provided the other person wants to give it). Take a few minutes to share what that was like, and then switch roles.

Notes:  Requests can be physical, mental, or emotional, for example: “Would you give me a back rub?” “Would you tell me what you think about me?” “Would you ask me questions about myself?”

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Anyone can play Authentic Relating Games.


Authentic Relating Games allow us to be more human with one another. They are perfect for those interested in improving relational skills (for any context), communication skills, listening skills, or just seeking real, meaningful human connection.


Our collection of over 150 extensively tested experiences  are uniquely designed to:

Highlight and train body awareness
Create deep connection
Boost empathy
Strengthen community
Be fun!


AR Games challenge you to listen and reflect in real time, to share your emotional state, to notice and reach into your desire, and to become self-aware within connection. From meditative depths of presence and ecstatic heights of joy, to somber melancholy and heart-pounding fun, AR Games guide us all the way through the human condition.


Playing these games help build skills for any relationship:  dating, family, work, and most importantly, self!  You will learn to be vulnerable and share real connections in a safe, authentic way.



Next Steps


Practice Online

Try our online Authentic Relating platform - with a free two week trial.


Connect With Local Community

 Check out our map of Authentic Relating communities worldwide.

Find Your Tribe

Find Your Authentic Truth

This mini-course by Sara Ness explores authenticity, values and congruence in relationship.  Just $47

Get the Course

AR Games Videos

Our YouTube channel for introductions and demonstrations of all your favorite Authentic Relating Games!

Check Out the Channel

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